A CLOWN'S VIEW OF LONDON

FROM OBNOXIO THE CLOWN

London sucks

If a man is tired of London, he must be tired of life, some Londonophile once wittered. He was definitely talking out of his fucking arsehole.

Reader comments include:

We've just had one of our nephews round for a visit, he's currently living & working in London, and loves the "Cultural Diversity". I'm a couple of generations removed and detested the place the last time I went there over 20 years ago...

and

The nicest thing I can think of to say about the place is that it smells slightly less of piss than it used to, probably due to all the rain we had last summer.

In some ways it reminds me very much of Paris, in that it's expensive beyond justification, filthy, over hyped, and stuffed full of ugly loud wankers who look down their noses at everyone who isn't from their city.

Even though they personally live in a shop doorway and eat out of bins.

It would be more accurate to say "when a man is tired of being jostled by people with ridiculous fake accents, dehydrating and suffering crush injuries on even short train journeys, being section 44'd at Kings X and cleaning air pollutants out of his mucus membranes every evening, then he is tired of London."

Oh, and : If you live a 45 minute tube journey away, you don't live "In London", you live in suburbia. Get. The. Fuck. Over. It.

I have to visit the festering shithole this week. Bah.