LONDON'S TOP TEN

LONDON'S TOP TEN - REASONS WHY IT SUCKS

FROM THE FRATER BLOG

I posted this on my blog some time before I started the List Universe, and I think it is a little harsh to put on the main site, so I thought I would add it here for the enjoyment of those of you that venture into the wilds that are the listverse forums. I will be interested to know if you find the style much different from the style I use on Listverse all these months later....

Are you thinking of moving to the UK? London in particular? Before you make your decision, read this list of the top 10 reasons London sucks so you know what you are getting in to before you leave. Who knows - you may change your mind!

Before I start the list I should explain that I am a New Zealander who moved to London two years ago. I have had some amazing and wonderful experiences in London and I plan to stay here, but the items in the list below have certainly done nothing to make the overall stay a great one.
So, from least bad to worst, here are the top 10 reasons London sucks:

10 - Tiny roads

Because London is so old and space is at a premium (due to the huge population for such a small area), the roads in London are very narrow. Even if the councils wanted to make them bigger, they simply couldn’t. In many areas the houses front doors are right on the sidewalk - this means that there is no space left at all unless you demolish the houses (which you can’t because of laws protecting buildings over a certain age). In addition, everyone now seems to have a car and most people park them half on and half off the sidewalk. The result is to make the narrow roads even narrower. It is very common to have to back up a street because another car is coming toward you and there is only sufficient room for one. Needless to say this can add a lot of time to your travel each day.

9 - Filth and Stink

London is the dirtiest city I have ever been in (and I have been in a LOT). Granted, some of the rubbish is a result of council policies during the IRA bombings that meant rubbish bins had to be removed from the streets (people were putting bombs in the bins), but many of the bins are back and no one seems to use them. The people here do not seem to have any pride in the streets at all - perhaps it is partly because so many people in London are not native to the place, but considering the amount of money we are all charged by the councils (see point 2) you would think they could pay more people to clean up. And of course, with filth, comes stink. In summer the smells pouring out of the grates on the roads is unbearable. Venice is meant to be smelly during summer - but in my experience London is far worse.

8 - Rents

The average rent in London is £334 per week (that is $665 US). I have recently started looking for a new two bedroom flat in the south-west area of London - about as far as you can go before you have horrendous commutes and I am looking to pay up to £380 ($756 US) per week. So far, every flat I have been shown is damp, stinks of mildew, has no light, and is really a one and a half bedroom flat. This is a terrible situation. The average weekly household income in London is £711 ($1,415 US) which does cover the average rent in a dirty flat, but other expenses are also higher here (see point 2 and 5).

7 - Bad food

England is famous the world over for its bad food and, believe me, London is no exception. Granted, you can get amazing food - but only if you can afford to spend over £100 ($198 US) per meal. Two meals out and you probably won’t have enough money to pay for your bills. An example of the quality (and price) of food here: when I first arrived I had a sandwhich at a regular greasy-spoon cafe (the name is definitely apt). For £5 ($9.95 US) I got two slices of thin white bread from a bag (which was virtually stale) with butter and a few pieces of dry chicken breast. It was barely palatable. Perhaps that is the reason that so many Londoners seems to eat fast-food all the time - it is moderately cheap and stodgy - but the result of too much of that is that you see many young men and women who look malnourished.

6 - The London mayor

Ken Livingstone is a blight on this city. He is the Mayor of London and is the father of the London Congestion Charge (see point 5). Ken is also a socialist (hence his nickname Red Ken). Ken’s latest plan is to force all embassies to pay the congestion charge (which is ridiculous as they are non-UK tax paying organisations). He has control over London Transport which sucks (see point 3) and he seems completely oblivious to the needs of the city. Oh - in addition to the congestion zone, he plans to implement (by 2008) an emission charging zone which will mean a “prohibitively expensive� tax for trucks and transport vehicles. Incidentally, when Japan stopped paying Ken’s congestion charge in 2006, Ken replied by going on the radio and talking about Japanese war crimes. Nice one Ken.

5 - The Congestion Charging Zone

In February 2003, Mayor of London Ken Livingstone (see point 6) introduced the congestion charging zone. The point of the zone is to photograph (see point 4) every car entering the zone and charge them a daily fee for having done so. The original charge was £5 and Livingstone promised it would not increase. In April, 2005, Ken announced that the price would go up to £8. In May 2006, on live TV, Ken announced that it will go up to £10 by 2008. Then to top it all off, he announced it would increase in size to encompass all of Kensington and Chelsea. The extension has actually increased congestion by 5%.

4 - Cameras

London is basically awash with cameras. They say you can barely walk two metres without being photographed. We are a watched city. 1984 anyone? Even the busses have cameras. Coupled with the socialist tendencies of the mayor and the left wing government, one does have to wonder what the future will be like in London. Of course they are also proposing a universal identity card.

3 - Public transport

The busses stink, they don’t run often enough to deal with the number of people using them, they don’t have enough seats, and they are so overcrowded that you can’t move during peak hours. In addition, virtually every time I have caught a bus here there has been some kind of food spilt on the seats. There was a documentary on TV here that showed children urinating and defecating on the busses. Unbelievable but true. And what is the cost for this? £2 ($4 US) per journey no matter how short - Ken Livingstone has doubled the price from £1 in the last year. Last year during the summer, the interior temperature of some busses was found to be 52C (125.6F)

Then there are the tubes! They cost £4 ($8 US) per single trip. They have no air conditioning, they have too few seats, they stink, and the temperatures have been known to get up to 47C (116.6F). Overcrowding is also a major problem here and 3 out of 4 times that I have caught the tube I have not managed to get a seat.

2 - Council Tax

This is a charge that is levied against every house in London. Your council charges you this fee and, in return, is supposed to provide you with services. As it turns out, it seems the only services they give you are rubbish collection and the occasional street sweeper. In the apartment block I live in, our rubbish collection is done by the porters and we have gardeners. So, basically we have no need to use the services of the council. Nevertheless, it is obligatory that we pay the charge. (Just in case you were wondering, we pay seperately for water - £700 last year). Guess how much we pay for our council tax? £2,000 per year (that is $3,976 US) - that breaks down to £166 per month ($330). We also have an oligatory television license of over £100 per year despite the fact that we use cable TV and pay for it ourselves. We never watch the public television channels.

1 - Rude people

This is the thing that I hate most about London. The people are utterly and completely rude. No one looks at anyone else (not even when they are serving you in a shop), no one smiles. It reminds me of what Moscow must have been like during communist oppression. Children don’t stand for adults on public transport, and frankly, parents don’t tell their children to. I have seen young children abusing adults who have scolded them for throwing food on the ground. When the people are so unhealthy, it says a lot about the nation. I should add, however, that the majority of people I have met who are not from London, have been very friendly.

So, having said all of that, while I don’t recommend migrating to London, it is worth a visit for the history and arts.